I am the abuse victim….

I realize more and more how much I play into the victim role. I truly wish to stand up and break free from it. Not live my life worried on the negatives of what they may try. This week was defeating. My ex’s still play a huge role in destroying everything good in my life. Misery loves company I guess. I have been failing at my attempts to escape all that haunts me. To not live in fear of the what if’s. I was ready to give up my blog because of my abuser. Isn’t that crazy he isn’t in my life anymore yet I’d let him still take from me. Writing is my therapy it’s one of the good’s in my life. Therefore it’s vulnerable and open for my abuser to target. So I need to once again summons up whatever courage my frail soul may have left and push back. He has hacked accounts created issues within. So I change the passwords. I use my unity with Marc to rebuild. I focus on the good things. Marc and I both have our own places. Both home are stocked with love and food and all needs meet at both. No one is behind on any bills. No one is really stressing financially. Although my head seems to be screaming I need to work and bring in more we truly are just fine. Stumbling is okay it’s not defeat. So I spent the week wallowing in my hard work my abuser destroyed then I shook it off. I woke this morning ready to conquer the new obstacles he had laid before me. I can regain what is lost with effort. My abuser will not get the gratification of seeing me remain defeated as I am already standing tall again. My ads are back up. I will have the site running better than ever by the end of the week. I can achieve anything. I’m not alone.