What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

October 15, 2017 I slept in his arms for the very first time. Afraid to be naked hiding my flaws. A ball of self doubt is exactly what I was back then. When he fell asleep that first night I remember pressing myself against his back and en hailing his scent. The next day I …

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Friday night I went to night sad. I felt like I would never have anyone to freely share life’s journey with. My significant other as wonderful as he is. Isn’t perfect and he hurt my heart and shut me down. I had cried myself to sleep that night but really said nothing to him for …

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Last night I was laying in bed cuddled up to the man of my dreams. I’m not really sure how the conversation started but I was sharing memories. Memories of my life before him. The life that made me who I am. As I was sharing, he shut me down. He asked me to stop. …

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Eyeliner

daniellemomof8gmailcom

I never knew something so simple would resonate in my mind for so long. I have not ever been much of a girly girly. Make up was not ever my thing. I think mostly because I was so clueless. I was 30 years old before I had convinced my mom to teach me anything about …

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Partner

daniellemomof8gmailcom

This morning has gone incredibly well. I am maintaining a stress free attitude as I am in my safe haven. I got up first this morning taking my shower in peace. I was able to thoroughly enjoy my shower because unlike my home there was no ” mom ,mom ,mom ,momĀ  !!” , at the …

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Today I had every intention of making Marc jambalaya for dinner. He had stated he had never eaten it before and I was in the mood for some spicy goodness. Then the day began to play out and after my 3 pm cat nap I had no desire to cook at all. I put the …

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Yesterday Marc took me and two of the kids out for dinner. He takes us out pretty much every weekend at least once typically far more. Malachi seems to pretty much always choose being with us no matter what other offer is on the table. I noticed a few weeks ago each time we go …

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There are places I am restricted from going over the lies he tells. My ex husband is angry very angry. He has been paying the minimum required support for a very long time. In fact he took me to court to have it lowered with a doctor’s note saying he could do minimal hours and …

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The day that I meet my first husband was also the day I meet the man I’d later let brand me. It was at a party at a dinging, dirty, disgusting trailer in the country side. The trailer was owned by my first husband’s mother and he was the only one residing in it. Living …

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So why stay in such a toxic place with him for 15 years… I believed honestly that no one else would or could love me. I thought that the emotions he showed were love. I would leave all the time and just to end up right back in the same spot. His tears of forgiveness …

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