What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Last night Marc took Allen, Clare, and myself out to the movies to see Deadpool 2. Deadpool 2 was a movie that Allen was really wanting to see. We don’t often get much time with Allen. He doesn’t get into as much that is relatable for us. He is very much the biggest home body …

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I think the love I longed for the most growing up was that of a father. When my Dad ( Scott) disappeared I looked for a father in every man that came home with my Mom. A few now I can only remember faces, some still have names to the faces, and their are those …

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My middle daughter was born at 26 weeks. Can you imagine? She weighed less than a pound and spent a lengthy four months in the nicu. She has struggled all of her life to play catch up. Ieps, title classes, speech therapy. you name it she has been in it. So it’s safe to say …

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When I turned 13 my step dad entered my life. I know that must have been a wild ride for him. I had lots of boundaries to test and limits to push to make sure he wasn’t like everyone else had been. To make sure his love was genuine before I could or would let …

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This year my Mother’s Day was far different than any other. Normally it’s pretty much like any other day. In fact most of the days that were intended to be my special days turned out pretty awful. When your in an abusive relationship it’s just kinda what happens. I don’t think a selfish man knows …

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Partner

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This morning has gone incredibly well. I am maintaining a stress free attitude as I am in my safe haven. I got up first this morning taking my shower in peace. I was able to thoroughly enjoy my shower because unlike my home there was no ” mom ,mom ,mom ,mom  !!” , at the …

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I have been wanting desperately to get Paytyn out the of house a bit. It’s a very overwhelming experience and something that is very hard to accomplish on my own depending the activity. I was fearful to even ask Marc to join me. My head was spinning with thoughts of how he would react. Maybe …

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Today I had every intention of making Marc jambalaya for dinner. He had stated he had never eaten it before and I was in the mood for some spicy goodness. Then the day began to play out and after my 3 pm cat nap I had no desire to cook at all. I put the …

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Yesterday Marc took me and two of the kids out for dinner. He takes us out pretty much every weekend at least once typically far more. Malachi seems to pretty much always choose being with us no matter what other offer is on the table. I noticed a few weeks ago each time we go …

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I really had no idea how broken I was until he loved me. A lifetime of pain made me a shell of who I am suppose to be. I had told a horrendous lie that I thought was simply the only choice on the table. I held that lie with my life. I let it …

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