What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Clare's flowers

Ever just wish you had the power to control the thoughts that race about in your brain? That’s my feeling this am. Badly longing for vacation to begin but allowing worry into my racing brain for all the what ifs. This trip could sincerely trigger me. I’ve had two weeks without therapy. Something I haven’t …

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I honestly have wanted and well did write so many times since the last post. But only in my head while driving the back country roads to and from therapy. Or in the quite moments I am in the kitchen baking or laundry room folding. It seems it’s so easy to blog when my fingers …

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You ever just know that you were meant to be where you are right now? I feel that so often with Marc. Like we just fit to the puzzle for each other. Raising each other up in ways you honestly can’t imagine. With my surgery ahead and Marc having has his surgery’s last year it …

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Luxury

daniellemomof8gmailcom

Being in this world right now is pretty crazy right? Truth be told though I’ve been trapped many times and in far far worst circumstances. The biggest challenge for me is that being trapped now brings up so many of  those very harsh memories. It does however also make me very grateful for the time …

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My entire life my perception of family was negative. Flopping around as a child and even more so as a teen I had no stability. It was easy for me to make a mistake and the price I paid for them always seemed to be more love lost. Being a cute baby I am sure …

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www.mommyof8withcancer.blog

I often sit and stare at Marc in the early morning hours and think of all the things I gained when he entered my life. The top of that list is gaining a mother. Longing for a close mother daughter relationship my entire life that I just couldn’t achieve. Marc spent lots of time telling …

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October 15, 2017 I slept in his arms for the very first time. Afraid to be naked hiding my flaws. A ball of self doubt is exactly what I was back then. When he fell asleep that first night I remember pressing myself against his back and en hailing his scent. The next day I …

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My entire life I have longed for family. I know clearly everyone is born with one right? I just never seemed to fit mine. Christmas events I wasn’t invited to. Excluded because I had “so many kids”. Spending time with family always felt like a chore. A task done because it was an obligation not …

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I know many of you will find this unbelievable but I hate Meijer! It’s one of my very least favorite grocery stores. I have been a Wal-Mart shopper since the beginning of time. It is far better priced in my opinion and I just enjoy the layout more. I feel like Meijer feels far more …

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Friday night I went to night sad. I felt like I would never have anyone to freely share life’s journey with. My significant other as wonderful as he is. Isn’t perfect and he hurt my heart and shut me down. I had cried myself to sleep that night but really said nothing to him for …

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