What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

So much of my time has been spent dodging the grieving process lately. Not allowing myself to process any of the deaths surrounding me. Honestly just felt so guilty like it was not even my right to hurt as much as I am. I never felt as though I fit into the mold of what …

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Do you ever wonder who will be the one filling in the details of your story when your not there to do so? I watch this serious this is us. It’s had me reflecting as I watch them seek the story to their parents who have passed on. Who will be telling mine. Will my …

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I rang in the new year screaming Jumanji. Hoping it would help send the chaos back to the game I no longer want to play. In fact I don’t even remember signing up to play in the first place. It was super quiet and peaceful for new years. Didn’t do much at all. What will …

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Therapy has opened up the door for healing. For that I am grateful however it also opens up triggers to all I had buried deep. I find myself getting lost in those triggers. In the midst of my everyday life I will all of a sudden be somewhere else. Back into the dark moment that …

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I’ve struggled a lot lately. As the virus continues to negatively affect my family. Thanksgiving was full of tears. Hearing that the family the kids and I searched our whole lives to have. The Christmas celebrations we finally felt wanted at. It just wouldn’t be this year. Us already being in such a sad place …

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You’d think by now I would move on and let go of the pain right? But I haven’t…. Sitting on my face book is still that letter from my aunt. Calling me out for a facebook post I had made calling my father a drunk. Saying he failed me. How DARE I? That was the …

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Here I am once again one of those nights I’ve spent worrying myself sick. My mind racing with all kinds of worst case scenarios in my head. I’ve come to now accept this is my nature to always be thinking of the what if and the worst case. Sometimes I feel like this trait of …

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There isn’t a moment where my brain isn’t thinking how can I bring in income. How can I barter a surplus of my families needs. Sitting in the car while Marc drives on some adventure my phone is in my hand focused on the side hustle. Multitasking is in my blood. Sitting watching some lifetime …

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Isn’t it funny how much a memory can be different depending on who tells the story. Our perceptions of the same even are so different. I wish I were typing to say someone recollection of a memory doesn’t have a hold on me. Longing to post about how I have moved on from those holds …

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This past weekend we found ourselves at the Clay High School. They have an indoor fly in there. Inside the gym as you walk in the very first thing that will catch your eye is the Horizon Hobbies table that always sits with some neat plane! This time they did a raffle. Of course I …

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