The Spy Who Dumped Me Movie Review mommyof8withcancer.blog

The Spy Who Dumped Me

I think movie dates have become a regular habit lately. At the very low prices our local theater offer it’s easily a go to for something to do. Only spending $30 for five of us to enjoy a movie, pop, popcorn, and a treat a piece.

This week we had some time to kill. So off to the movie theater we went. Our movie choice this week was The Spy Who Dumped Me. I was very excited to see a funny movie. Comedies are probably my top genre.

It wasn’t long into the movie that you could hear a roar of laughter. Everyone watching was highly entertained. I love looking down the seats to the kids and watching their laughter. It’s so infectious the laughter of children. Especially your own. It’s those laughs that I close my eyes to remember when I’m in a lot of pain of getting sick. Focusing on such fond memories gets you through the tough times.

So this movie is Rated R. Mostly because of language. I still took my teens and they enjoyed it. My judgement call to take them didn’t change after seeing it. The humor was adult but it didn’t push the line enough to not let them see it. There was no nudity. The violence wasn’t gory.

It was a movie I’d take my grandma to see. In fact there were many grandmas and grandpas in the theater. I love seeing that too. Elderly couples on movie dates. Only do I hope to live long enough to hobble my way into the theater and curl up to Marc and doze off watching some hip new movie.

The Spy Who Dumped Me was just shy of a two hour movie. That is about my max time for sitting in the older theaters with the not so comfy seats. If it had been a longer movie I would have sprung for the better theater for sure.

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My Hobby, My Addiction!

Are you wondering what my hobby that is now crossed into my addiction is? Around the time I bought my freedom. Leaving the domestic violence situation I had found myself in. You can read more of that tale here or here or even a bit here. My hobby became coloring.

It was easily a way to calm myself and cope with everything life was throwing my way. I could escape the stress and create some beautiful art! At first I was picking up a marker or two. A coloring book here or there. Excitedly I posted of my first marker tote and filled it with many types of markers.

It’s fun to get new markers. They are all so different in color, and in the way they color. Enjoying choosing all the different possiblities was thrilling for me. I would get lost in craft stores choosing markers.

I will say though I struggle to find as interesting coloring books in the stores. Even When I had my trip to Barnes and Noble ( the gigantic book store) the adult coloring book section was not as impressive as I had hoped. You can discover far better ones on Amazon. In my personal opinion.

My collection may have spilled into an addiction when I realized I had now had three totes to carry my markers in. Which I take back in forth with me to Marc’s each and every weekend. Getting lost in some fantastic artwork is priceless.

The girls share my love for coloring and have started their own little collection. They prefer gel pens where I am a fan of ultra fine line markers. The ones with the tiny tips that take longer to color but work perfectly in the finer detail spots. Nothing great happens quickly anyway right? What is your hobby? Has it crossed over into addiction status as mine?

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New Planner!

So I have been searching high and low for the perfect new planner. My timing however wasn’t any good. Apparently planners come out about twice a year. The ones coming out now are for August mostly and directed more towards students.

I was looking for a mommy blogger planner. I didn’t want to get online and print one as I wanted it to be small easy to carry and durable. I wanted it to have lots of space. Space for grocery list and menu planning. A spot for the kids appointments and functions they would need to attend.

I wanted it to have a pocket. For money or coupons of course! I really had it completely envisioned in my head before my search begun. I was not willing to settle for less.

After searching many stores I found it! Inside Barnes and Noble this HUGE book store that I could have been lost in for days without complaint. The Amy Knapp’s Family Planner was absolutely the perfect planner. You can hear more about my adventure in the book store here . The planner has a side tab for menu and grocery list that tears off to easily take into the store! Does it get any cooler than that?

It come equip with stickers for the kids activities and appointments. Amy Knapp’s Planner is the #1 National Bestselling Organizer and frankly I know why! It’s awesome the covers provide the durability that I was hoping for. The front cover even has the pocket that I was so hoping for. It meets all of my needs and then some.

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Goals Moving Forward

I have spent so much time looking for my path. Thinking I needed a career to be fulfilled. Cooked in many kitchen’s. I worked in a office typing my life away. I worked at a daycare nursing my love for children. I went back to school thinking there might be where I found my purpose. None of that ever gave me that fulfilled feeling. All that searching yet still I wasn’t on a path.
I quit my job a few month’s back about 3 to be exact. Maybe it was I was fired but the technical term didn’t matter I was no longer at the job because I had no drive to be there. As much as I love cooking and being in the hustle and bustle of the kitchen my heart wasn’t there.
I know what makes me feel fulfilled in life now. It’s my family. It’s being his wife ( I have no pc of paper but I play the role) and the kids mom. It’s the most gratifying for me. It lights me from within making the bed before he comes home from work. Helping the kids with homework. Working with paytyn taking him out to do things.
Time is limited, mine maybe more then others I want mine spent with what is most valuable to me. That is Marc and the kids. I love blogging I am happy that I can use it to contribute financially and take some burden off of Marc. I enjoy him being the provider and I think he enjoys that role as well. He has always wanted to be the one paying for dinner. I use to sneak the check all the time to pay so I could feel like I was doing my part. Now I see that is just his place in our relationship. I do my share and I pitch in. I pay attention to his bills and make sure he puts them instead of me first. Even if that is just by requesting a frugal weekend at home. We work really amazing together honestly.
I want to be a stay at home wife and mom. I want to home school paytyn. I want to make Marc’s lunch every day for work and have his breakfast ready when he wakes. Coffee in my hand as he kisses me and the boys before leaving. I want to be what the kids and Marc come home to every single day. I want to make sure Mack and Boris ( our birds ) have attention and love throughout the day. I want to make all the kids food from scratch and have it all prepared for them. Home made bagel bites in the freezer for the days they don’t like dinner options. I want to craft and hang out with minions. I adore the life of a stay at home mom and wife. It is what gives me the greatest gratification. When Marc and I talked of me staying home and not working anymore I was against it. Now I thrive on being here. I can’t wait to be in one place. I think we could save a lot more financially if we were in one spot and not paying for two. I love for that. One house organized and happy. One household for me to be caring for. I love caring for the 8 of them. I am blessed indeed.
My goals from this day forward is to grow my blog even further so my contribution to the family can do some good. Getting us into one house as a family is a huge goal. Making the 8 of my family as happy and healthy as I can everyday! Letting go of working outside of the home. Truth be told Marc and I have had a few debates over me thinking I needed too. I need to be confident that Marc will come to me if we get to the paint that I need to do that.

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Review Of Art Therapy Aquatica Coloring Book.

If you haven’t noticed I truly love to color. I enjoy mostly using markers to color with. Markers are permanent and show every flaw and imperfection. You have to learn to love your mistakes and make them work for you. I have quite the collection of markers at this time. I have about 12 coloring books as well. I am picky of my choosing of each. I like my coloring books to not have a coloring page on the back and the front. As I use markers they leak through destroying whatever page may have been on the back. I always feel torn in those books deciding which page I’d like to color and which to ruin. I truly enjoy the pages that have the solid black on the back of the coloring page. I settle for the ones who have just a white back page but have perforated edges making them easy to take out and color. It’s all about the bleed through. These coloring books wouldn’t have those issues if they were for colored pencils but my markers need upgraded books. The Aquatic Coloring Book has pages easily torn out! It is full of fun semi detailed and more in depth detailed pictures as well. I have already colored two pages since my purchase just yesterday! I love sea life pictures personally though they are so calming! I had a really peaceful time to myself after all the kids were asleep coloring to myself. Focused on how magnificent the color makes the page just pop. I have been creating my colored art work and mailing it to my family. I haven’t gotten any response to what I have sent yet but I enjoy coloring and sending them.

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My Personal Review For “Wrinkle In Time” The Movie

This morning I woke up early and didn’t really feel like getting up and moving. So I called for Hailey. Hailey is my eldest daughter and a miniature version of her mother. Hailey came in and I asked what time she had to be in class. She is taking virtual high school from home. We love it! Anyway she had about three hours before class. It sounded to me like the perfect time to get in a mother daughter movie! I browsed through the on demand section of my cable. The movie of my choosing was Wrinkle In Time. I really hadn’t known much of what to expect honestly. What I did know was Oprah was in it!!! My uncle was her personal landscaper for quite some time and she was just the sweetest lady. She would let us borrow bikes from her to ride when we went camping. My aunt and uncle were able to be guest on her show too. Honestly this was the selling point of the movie for me. I didn’t even watch the trailer prior to purchase. I was not disappointed at all. It is a Disney movie and just perfect for early morning snuggles with teenage daughters!
The movie was a very fun but touching movie. The relationship between brother and sister was heart warming. I am disappointed that I didn't take the time to read the book first but I have it ordered to read now. I was on the edge of my seat for this movie and couldn't be pulled away. I was almost late for my appointment waiting for the movie to finish before I would get ready.

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The Hard Days

Yesterday was a very hard day. I had to spend most of it in the room of the court house answering the most uncomfortable questions you can think of. After I had errands to run galore and was just feeling very tired. I wasn’t up for cooking and I contemplated leaving the children and sneaking to his house by myself. Going to Marc’s house on my own means quiet and peaceful. When I started to get ready there were two little boys with their eyes light up begging to go with. It sure would be easier to slip out without them…. I have to stop at the store and Paytyn has very little patience for the store. Six years old and autism we just avoid anything that might possibly cause more chaos in his world. HE wanted to go to Marc’s and his pleas to be there were reaching my heart. I bent down and explained how I’d need to stop at the store and it might take a lot longer than he would like to be there for. ( his patience is about 2 mins long. ) We made a deal for him to come. Then he was off to find himself some shoes. Except that was an even larger challenge and they couldn’t be located despite our best efforts. Paytyn hit melt down status as he hadn’t had time with Marc over the weekend either and he really wanted to see him! I decided that I was already committed so I would just purchase him some flip flops at meijer and avoid the longer searching. He was ecstatic at my idea. Arriving at meijer the store was packed. I hadn’t ever seen so many people in the store in fact. The lines were long and I had forgotten my entire list of needs. I scrambled to remember what I could and pick out shoes for my boy. He was so good in the store I was impressed. At Marc’s the good behavior continued. I ordered pizza hut as the day left me tired and and sore. I laid on the bed working on promoting my blog. ( it’s a huge part of my daily life) When Marc got home even after his long hard day at work with no ac he came and rubbed my leg while I worked. He just laid cuddling me for about an hour while the kids played games in the living room. When he was beckoned by a child he got up returning to me and continuing my leg rub after attending their needs. My hard days don’t seem as hard when he is at my side! I am truly blessed in life and love!

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Little Letters Of Love

Have I raved enough about Marc that everyone knows the man in my life is amazing yet???!!!! Well that man is pretty freaking perfect. So if you haven’t been following from the beginning lets refresh just a bit. Marc and I meet seven and a half months ago through a craig list ad. Lol can you imagine! He was my second craig list date and the first one I had jumped out of the car by the time we hit the stop sign at the end of my street. So the fact that I even went was a shocker as I wasn’t planning to ever go on another of those again! In fact I blew Marc off on our first planned date. That was not planned to be a sleepover of any kind. Somehow Mr. Amazing texted even after the stand up and no reply incident from me to text me while I was severely being beaten. I had just been football tackled into the ground. I still wasn’t sure I could leave my situation or if I wanted to meet another strange craig list man. Then he said it was his bday and he was alone. I am not sure if he had other plans later or what but he came and got me that night and I fell in love that night. I swear it was that first night I knew I would marry him and this would be forever. I got out of my abusive situation within a month and a half because of the courage my love for Marc gave me. At three months in I was given a key to his place. I would go there everyday and clean the man cave. I picked something knew to tackle each week and organized and cleaned for him. When I would leave before he returned from work I would leave him a little love note. After two times of leaving him notes he left me his favorite Cross Pen. I remember thinking wow fancy pen. He also left me a little yellow sticky pad. I had been leaving letters on envelopes and all kinds of scrap paper previously. Before he had left those things for me to use to write his little letters of love I wasn’t sure if men really liked that stuff or if it just looked corny to him. I wasn’t sure if he said he liked them to make me feel good or if I was really making him feel good. I remember him telling me the cost of the Cross Pen and me thinking shit he is leaving this thing with me everyday! I lose everything. He has to replace lighters all the time because I have walked off with them and they then vanished into thin air. (COMPLETELY NOT MY FAULT!)That pen is the ultimate pen. It writes so fancy and smooth lol. I love it. I cherish that it’s here for me to write little letters of love and I would never lose it. He knew that. I soon realized he was hoarding the letters. I would leave them scattered EVERYWHERE! In the snake room, in the basement, on his coffee machine, on the baked goods, in the fridge, in the freezer, on the fish tank, doors, walls, shower, everywhere I had a thought of him I would leave it there and let him know. YES, there are thousands of them! HE keeps every single one of them. On his nightstand right by his head making me feel as good as they make him. WE are so blessed with the love we share! My sleeping beauty is the greatest man to exist. Happy blogging I am off to make his breakfast!

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The love I needed and never got is now the love my daughter is looking for…. I so tried to not let the cycle continue.

I think the love I longed for the most growing up was that of a father. When my Dad ( Scott) disappeared I looked for a father in every man that came home with my Mom. A few now I can only remember faces, some still have names to the faces, and their are those I have no memory of but pictures galore of me in their arms. The love I was searching for was unconditional. You know the kind where you can fuck up and still be loved. The kind where the size of your mistake or the depth of your flaws make no difference. The love that can only come from a parent. The kind of love that wraps you up and consumes you. I guess I am speaking as if I know what that love feels like but I don’t. The efforts I made to feel it, to gain it were never successful. I waited at the door for Scott, by the phone waiting for it to ring. It rarely did. I chose to go alone to visits when he did show so I didn’t have to share his attention with anyone else. It was so lonely after awhile sitting in a movie theater with him snoring. Sitting at a bar him flirty with anything skinny with tits. It did not matter what I said or did. What fabricated story I had of some glorious accomplishment. He only listened and engaged if I was to speak badly of my mom. His anger for her trumped any love for me is exactly how I felt. I was never worthy of his love. When Rik came around I had just been raped. By a bf of my mom’s that I only remember by his first name ” Brian”. My mom and him split and she meet Rik what felt like rather quickly as a child. I honestly really couldn’t tell you the actually story for that or time gap. I know that emotionally I was going through more than I could bare alone. The day that it happened my mom was stranded on road with some car trouble and it was my fault as I was to busy being raped to answer her call. I lied and said I had gone to his house. I left out him being at ours and taking me. I left out how my panties were soaked in blood from the events that had happened. I took her punishment and screams and I cried to myself. When Rik came I wanted him to prove he wasn’t the rest. Prove that a unruly teen was worthy of his love. I acted out for his love. I acted out of the move. I acted out totally unable to process the emotions I was dealing with. In return I made myself hard to love. I ran away seeking love elsewhere….. 16 and Rik and my mom are still together….. Maybe he will love me he has stuck around through some shit right… They had put me in private school one that Rik attended. I was no longer living at home and just wanted to make him proud. Get his attention. I got a job at the dq in niles. It was owned by a man on the school board. He paid me an additional 50 cents a hour on my tuition. I lived in south bend and carpooled to st joe. Every morning I got up at 4 am and I went to this gas station where I prayed like hell my ride would show. On the days she didn’t I sat at a gas station from 4 am to 4pm alone in south bend! AS a CHILD! I did that trying to make Rik notice, make him proud. let me come home. No one cared. I spent my entire check from work on the carpool to get to school. I rarely even had a lunch to eat at school. No one noticed, no one cared, my efforts to make them proud in any positive form went totally unnoticed. I eventually gave it all up. Later getting my ged with a 3 month old. Even later as and adult I tried again to make Rik proud with my education status. I went to college late in life, I enrolled and passed tons of classes by with my placement testing. ( not bad for freshmen drop out) I worked my ass of and took a full 18 credits per semester. I called my dad (rik) constantly with updates of grades and presentations. I screenshot him scores and results. I reached and reached for his attention, time and love. Let me tell you as an adult to reach so desperately and not achieve it leaves you feeling pathetic! I remember in a fight Chuck telling me that Rik didn’t give a fuck about my grades and was probably tired of me calling him from school everyday. I remember arguing and saying he was wrong. I stopped calling Rik that day to prove he would call me. HE didn’t ever call. It was almost graduation time and I had always asked Rik to buy me this brick for the graduation one that had something cute about a mom of 8 did this anyone can. My name and my grad year. He told me if I pulled it off he would do it for me. I sent him the link and everything when I knew I was graduating. I had this whole conversation with myself as to how many times I would remind him before I was begging him to be there again. Something I did not want to do at all. I decided 10 that was it just 10 reminders and count downs to when he couldn’t purchase any longer and when I would graduate. After that I would let him decide my worth essentially. After 10 reminders I went silent. I of course posted on facebook daily reminders to the world of when this mom would walk with her hat on. Chuck knew they wouldn’t get me that brick no one would. He had purchased it long before I had been let down but left it a surprise. I wish he hadn’t actually though seeing the brick and knowing that my family didn’t do it. That they never even went to see theirs daughters name. It was more painful then no brick at all. No one showed when I graduated. Later they said they didn’t know. I didn’t remind enough. Thing was I just wasn’t important enough. As an adult I stayed in a severely abusive relationship because I knew Rik wanted that. HE loved Chuck thought he was just the greatest. They had many talks over me being crazy and Rik not knowing how Chuck could do it. In fact Rik gave Chuck a truck telling him never to put in my name. In the garage that day Rik and Chuck had a conversation that I got third party about him being a good man and staying with me. How Rik couldn’t believe he had. I wondered how such a thing could be said about a man that beat me so badly. I wondered if Rik really thought that was all I was worth. Wasn’t even 2 months that the truck had breaks go out and Chuck drove it to scrap yard for a bag. Leaving the kids with no way to get to the grocery store. Karma I guess the truck crushed because I could do nothing to stop it cause it was me that Rik thought to little of it was me he thought would be in line at the scrap yard. It was me with the tears and the cuts down my leg to the words Chuck spewed of his conversation with Rik that day.

I remember Chuck saying Rik doesn't really like you much does he. The next year I begged for Christmas time with him for him to be angry that I was making it seem like he wouldn't make time for us. He never did make that time. I never seen him a single holiday since. He never called there was never a Christmas card in the mail. I was just forgotten. As I knew I would be. I still keep reaching of course. Jade she is exactly the same. She goes through all the same emotions with Chuck and keith. Now Marc stepping in and he feels frustrated as he sees her playing both sides. Acting out, being defiant. I see and hear her after she has done something to make Marc proud. She too trys in school for him as I did for Rik. She too gets excited for something as simple as a hug. She wants to see he will love her unconditional. She wants to see what she is worth to him. I know what a bumpy hard road it will be for him to show her he loves her. I know how bumpy it will be for her to believe it. I am so grateful for all I felt as a child and all I endured because I can so easily help her and him learn and understand each other. I can whisper in his ear an accomplishment she has achieved and he will go give her the attention she longs for from it.

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