Night one at the cabin came and went so quickly as we didn’t really get in till after dinner time. The second day was spent enjoying that big fabulous hot tub. Exploring in that thick woods that was engulfing us in our little secluded mountain side. Honestly everything was blissful. We spent the entirety of …
Ever just wish you had the power to control the thoughts that race about in your brain? That’s my feeling this am. Badly longing for vacation to begin but allowing worry into my racing brain for all the what ifs. This trip could sincerely trigger me. I’ve had two weeks without therapy. Something I haven’t …
It’s almost the four year mark. Four years since the beginning of what lead to be a entire new life for me. Of course I excitedly planned a fancy junior suit at a local hotel. Thinking that we didn’t really have the finances for a big trip this year but a small get away would …
Sometimes it’s hard to see the growth that I have personally achieved. There tend to be these blinders on my eyes and I can’t see what I over come and achieve. Facebook gives a space to shout out my accomplishments and others holler back their pride in me. Seeing that for myself is still so …
While sitting in bed the other night the topic of being prepared comes up between Marc and I. Can’t really sure what lead up to the conversation as that has become fog in my memory now. However it was very deep to lay in bed and ponder together. My entire life has been a path …
Each social setting seems to show me more how much my social anxiety is taking control. Longing for family for so long and now that I have some… I get tongued tied and can’t even speak when in their presence. Over the weekend I went to a social event. One that should have been my …
It’s almost my bday again. How quickly that came and the year passed. I’ve become one of those people who has to ask google how old they will be this year. I’ve messed up my own age more times than I am able to count. Always making myself older than I am. Maybe that comes …
For awhile I thought that I had gotten out of the mindset that I swear I’ve been in since a toddler. Thinking that I was past just surviving and out of the survival mode. Truth is I now believe that is my way of life. In a sense it’s also my super power. Everything falling …
Oh the words are just not here, everything I want to say at the tip of my tongue. Typed and deleted line after line with nothing on the screen now. I desperately have been trying to break the chains of my past that are weighing me down. Moving through the trauma is the toughest thing …
So remember a while ago writing about all the death thoughts creeping in at all the wrong times. Honestly being a pretty constant presence in my life for some time. I had initially thought it was a medication problem. Only to be convinced it wasn’t after adjusting them. Turns out it was the wrong adjustment. …