What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Here I am again same thoughts ramped in my brain. I truly thought for some time that it was my medications. I switched three damn times before giving up and realizing it’s me… my head and nothing more. Shaking the thoughts of death is not working for me. There just has to be a way …

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mommyof8withcancer.blog Doctor

[amazon_link asins=’B0748NNDK8,B06XHXC5XJ,B00338QENI,B01IPXY01S,1401952232,0452295726,B00UGDXUXK,1439170916,B007ZDRJ5O’ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’buchtelassoci-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’66fb77d6-bb64-11e8-a6ee-9b6023ecacd6′]This week I went back to the doctor. Twice in fact as I needed a referral from one to get back into the other. It’s no secret I am no fan of a doctor at all. Going when it’s absolute need and never in between. Entire pregnancies with only one …

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Yesterday I knew something was wrong as soon as I woke up. I felt sick and cramping pains through my stomach. By afternoon I had realized I was about to get my period again. 🙁 I went through most of my life without one at all. I had baby after baby. I breastfeed. I was …

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So I failed to fake anything yesterday. It was impossible to hide how terrible I felt. Marc that amazing man of mine he knows all though. I got up made him some breakfast and Malachi and myself just a bit of something. After finishing I ended up asking to just lay down a bit. I …

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I try desperately to avoid my illness. I love pretending it doesn’t exist. Putting it in the furthermost corner of my mind like it is in a time out. Every morning is the worst. I wake up feeling cramps and wanting to hurl. The worst thing about all the puking is my teeth and mouth …

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I just tried to lie to the one I love the most. I do it all the time. It’s natural and has been for some time. I lie to everyone who ask how are you feeling… I respond with I’m fine all the time. Even right now the laptop on my lap myself sitting on …

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 //pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({ google_ad_client: “ca-pub-1747195353515083”, enable_page_level_ads: true }); I woke up around 6 from the cramps in my stomach. They were something fierce. I had dinner last night and Marc’s parent’s bought my food. I sat to put the first bite to my mouth of the mouthwatering food and felt queasy instantly. …

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It’s been several days sitting here at this low. It’s consuming me now. I need to talk I need to pour my heart out in hopes that I’m still lovable after. I have struggled this week at everything life has felt nothing short of overwhelming. The flood, the move, all of the changes has been …

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If you read yesterday’s post you would know my pain level was high most of the day. I only held down a biscuit and a half of a protein shake. I don’t think I even consumed an entire pop to be honest. I didn’t intake much at all. Last night I tried my best not …

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I went to my apt. today so many results it was so intimidating. Tumour 7x9cm on cervix & down into vagina, not in bowel but “against” bladder (no probs with either motion lol). Spread to pelviv nodes & x1 para-aortic node. There’s a wee 3mm “node” on a lung so I’m to have a CT …

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