What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Truly I’ve felt married to Marc since the very moment I stepped into his car. He whisked me off my feet the very moment we meet. Maybe even before with all the paitence he had with me leading up to meeting. Yet now that I am 57 days from the day I get to share his name it feels so insanely surreal.

He giggled when I told him he has had such bad five years too and that the good is sure to be around the corner. For him the bad was just life and it was so much better to go through it all with me. My mind says I brought the bad in for him and that before me must have been so much easier.

The flood, the many court dates, kids surgeries, my surgeries, they feel like burdens I placed onto him. As he is the rock that really gets us through everything! When he says he loves me and that those moments really seem like nothing to him I beleive it. It sinks into my soul I tell you and it fills me so!

A year ago I would have told you that I ran to his family with any hiccup. My mentatlity was well first of all he okayed me talking to his mom about anything and that she could not ever see him in a light other than perfect. So she could see both sides and help me see too if I couldn’t. However I’ve grown an insane amount. I’m appauled at myself for ever going to anyone but the man of my dreams. It was always just a talk with him I needed even when I couldn’t see that.

Now I freely speak to him anything on my mind. Even if it’s him I’m feeling hurt by. Half the time it’s my brain seeing it in a way that makes me feel hurt! Always the intention of Marc is absolutely to care and love me. Speaking to him and just him shows him that I trust him! I didn’t see before that he could feel I didn’t by being more open with his mom in the moment than him. I have the ability to tell Marc every emotion that runs through my body. That is the most freeing thing in the entire world.

57 days and I’ll be experiencing Vegas with the man I intend to experience the rest of life with. We will share vows there and seal our love with that kiss. But I’ve been married to Marc since day one. So in 57 days I just long to be an even better verison of myself for him. That saying that the one will make you a better person. It’s very real. Marc doesn’t just make me a happy wife he makes me a better wife. A better mother every single day. He brings out and sometimes even brings to light all the things I love about myself.

He allows me to be who I always wanted. I love being a mom, wife, caretaker, taxi, those are the things that fufill me the most. I love the traditional wife role. The one he giggles his grandpa would be proud of. His meal being ready after work isn’t something that he ask for it’s something that makes me feel accomplished having done.

He’s played the father, and husband role for five years. Now it will be offical! I couldn’t ask for a better life partner. He’s my perfect!

One thought on “57 Days

  1. AmbersBlue says:

    It’s the Greatest that you found love! All best wishes to both of you for your big day 😊

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