What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

What or who in your life fills your bucket? Your emotional bucket that makes you feel complete and happy. For me it’s Marc taking pride in me. Even him muttering the word proud in reference to me just lights me up from within.

Maybe it’s some childhood repressed emotional baggage that gives me this need to make him proud. I’m not really sure. I can however honestly say I deliberately over share any small accomplishment with Marc for the pride he takes in me. No matter how small it may seem I already know he will be over the top with his pride.

As a stay at home mom who gig works or coupons to make her contribution to the family Marc often calls me his little hustler. I already soar to be his anything. The hustler part though always gives me the little extra giggle. Always working to find ways to take pressure off the budget I “hustle” all kinds of money saving ideas and gig work.

Throughout the day I share with Marc my successes in doing so. Yesterday was the first time I hustled money off of our cable bill. Upon doing so I sent him a screenshot of the text confirmation. Some silly message about everyday I’m hustling. There is a song that I totally sing to this effect to go along with it. When he responds to that text with pride it literally changes my entire day.

Smile is now permanently on my face for the remainder of my day because I know he opened a text on a silly cable credit and smiled. He took pride in me and thought there she goes taking care of us again. His sweet thoughts of me filling my bucket and my growing confidence in myself that I can help take off his load and still be home being the mother and future wife I desire to be.

Sitting here and thinking back I can’t recall a day Marc doesn’t show or tell me that he is proud of me. Soaring me into the clouds riding on that high from that filled bucket. Being on that high just leads to me accomplishing more for him to be proud of. It’s a never ending cycle.

In return I think he also has such pride in himself. He truly enjoys being the provider and having me home. There is a strength it gives him to have that traditional male role as the head of the house. Filling his own bucket by working hard for us daily and knowing that I can simply bake in the kitchen all day if that is what my heart so desires.

All and all I truly have the best relationship I’ve ever witnessed in my 37 years of life.

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