What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Really not much of an excuse to dropping the ball in the moment like I did. She came to the house and tried so hard to patiently explain even though I was just flat out rude. You see she came with Eight hot cocoa bombs not seven and greedily with my selfish chocolate addicted I insisted the eighth was for me.

Repeatedly interrupting, it never crossed my mind she would finally refer to me as the mother of eight that I had always wanted her to. She had found the understanding in the open adoption choice I had made and I missed the moment. I missed the chance to have a connection with my mom because I literally could only think of these chocolate balls of goodness I had to have.

To my defense I made Marc spend a fortune and search high and low for those little yummy chocolatey goodness of cocoa. They are my favorite thing and even more so now. How though still does a chocolate cocoa ball blind me for such an important connection with my Mom?

I’ll probably be asking myself that for a minute. Obviously there is no going back and regaining the connection with my Mom now. However it does feel nice to sit in the emotion now. She counted your son. She gifted him and included him.

Maybe she sees now that this was the perfect adoption story and even though it wasn’t the terms or fit see seen as best. It was absolutely the best for Luke and I. Can’t imagine it any other way and it’s the most amazing story of love I’ve ever known.

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