Sometimes it’s hard to see the growth that I have personally achieved. There tend to be these blinders on my eyes and I can’t see what I over come and achieve. Facebook gives a space to shout out my accomplishments and others holler back their pride in me. Seeing that for myself is still so difficult.
Until the past finds a way to show itself. Like a phone call from an old friend. One who tells you about all those you left behind. Maybe even some you had children with. That call just really made me see my growth. I’m not anywhere near the person I was. Fitting into the circle of friends I had just a few short years ago would be just impossible.
I’m such a different person. One I find so much more pride in. Emotionally, I have so much more control over myself than I had throughout all of life. Clear is the path I want. The goals I have are laid out before me with each and every step I need to achieve them seeming so obtainable. Honestly, I believe there isn’t anything I can’t do.
Never could I have said that even a year ago. Looking at the kids and knowing I really did that myself gives me a strength deep within. My kids are soaring and the sky is literally the limit with them.
The life I have is the one I strived for. Personally I feel like I’ve made it. This is the path I want to be on. It’s only moving in the positive direction I want for myself and my family. Texting my mother and giving her look ma I made it moments happens all the time. Pride in myself and the mother I’ve become is here.
That call let me remember again where I came from. How I built this life and path on my own. Deciding that what I was doing and how I was living wasn’t enough for me and mine. Not just financially either but how I speak to people. The way I carry myself as a person and mother. My social life, I use to really need to have people need me to have fulfillment. Finding fulfillment in yourself, now that is growth.