What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

It’s almost my bday again. How quickly that came and the year passed. I’ve become one of those people who has to ask google how old they will be this year. I’ve messed up my own age more times than I am able to count. Always making myself older than I am. Maybe that comes with growing up to fast and to hard.

Last year I was on lake Houghton on a boat getting stoned and dreaming up into the clouds above. This year is set to be much different. Maybe some time at home some laughs with the kids. Simple and sweet.

So much has changed this year. I took on a lot more financial burden. Taking some things off the budget and off Marc’s back and taking on some of the kids financial junk too. Knowing doing so takes pressure off them eases my mind a great deal.

Changes occurred in how much I was home when I took on more of the finances. Leaving Allen to step up much more. He even took on some of the manly chores from Marc lessening his burden there too. Being out of the house more and allowing the adult kids to take on more of the household burden took some adjusting but we are in the swing of things now.

This week sports car sold and Marc decided I would be spoiled with a brand new car. I of course tried to talk him out of it. Into a bike for himself or a new car or trailer. He was having no part of any of those discussions and instead lead into the fact that even though it’s “my car” my car also was the family vehicle. I don’t drive at all passed 5 pm so Marc does. It’s my car we take on all trips or weekend outing’s. Really his car is only used to get to and from work while the rest of the time is spent in mine. So he too would enjoy “my car” Upgrading me means him upgrading to my old car as well. Which is far less nosey and problematic then his daily work driver. After weeks of convincing I was on board for my new car. 2022 wilderness outback is being custom built in factory just how I wanted it.

Never did I even dream that would be a possibility for me. Brand new car. NO miles. Me the very first driver. I thought I had won the lotto with my 4.000$ used outback and now I am custom ordering my $40,000 car with phone charging stations. Life sure does change quickly.

Marc just beamed. Reality is when we meet both didn’t dream this would be our future. His credit would never have allowed even a credit card when we meet. Yet here we are buying our perfect dream car and on our 3rd year in our dream home. Together we were the perfect fit for lifting each other up. For building our empire together. I run a budget like no ones business and he is an incredibly hard working provider.

As I cried thinking I may be taking something from him buy him selling his sports car he was smiling saying don’t you see I could not have even dreamed of buying a house or a car before you. My credit was shot…. my bills behind. The same story was for me. Apart we we drowning trying to make sure the whole world didn’t see. He was living on disconnects and I was lining up at the food pantries. But we trusted in each other. We built each other up and so quickly it all fell into place.

He said to me on our drive home from ordering our new car. I have everything. Everything I want or dream of it’s already in my possession. I just keep making new dreams and desires so we have something more to achieve. I’ve got all the planes I’ve ever dreamed of. I have a wonderful home. My animals are very well cared for and feed. We eat damn good every night and we are not lacking in any adventures. He’s absolutely right. We already hit the bar and have the perfect life. The only thing left to do is keep raising the bar and striving for more.

If life ended tomorrow I can honestly say it was a success. I’ve built all I dreamed of wanting. Happy, healthy, thriving family. The next year will bring more greatness and I can’t wait.

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