What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I’ll just be completely honest. Hailey wanting a party with my family present sent chills down my spine instantly. I knew she was setting herself up for failure. How could I protect her when they let her down for this was the only thing replaying in my mind a million times over.

Yesterday, my fears proved true. After this past month of Hailey hearing so many times how she had been kept from family and that is why she was lacking their presence. Thinking that there was no way that after all that they would then not show to her party I didn’t start reaching out till the night before the party. For that I alone am at fault. Could have better prepared had I sooner reached.

Of course many family didn’t respond at all to my pleas with are you coming. One did. First to say… I got a Facebook notice it was canceled. ( the Facebook event is still present all over Facebook and hailey has a million statues to the tone of the party countdown) Not to drag out I just say okay messaged received. Of course then to get ?? back….. Now I have no choice but to engage. Politely just say I am just getting confirmation to who is coming. Nothing was canceled and the personal invitations were mailed…. So not sure how Facebook would even come into play… Then the story changes. Now it’s because cannabis isn’t prohibited that family is unable to be in attendance. Everyone being entitled to there own opinions…. that would be fine. Except didn’t you just say you weren’t coming due to our error sending a facebook cancel???? Why would it have mattered if you would have refused to come anyway? Any chance you reached out to yoiur granddaughter and made other arrangements to see or be with her? Send her a card maybe? Nah…. cause reality is she isn’t worth your time.

Also anyone ever give us the option to not be present at a party because alcohol was involved? Let us known in advance that ppl would be intoxicated fouls? We politely added we are cannabis friendly. It’s an outside event. Not a smoking event but one where it’s not prohibited if your legal age to consume. However alcohol will be prohibited. Because my kid simply isn’t a fan of drunk or intoxicated people but doesn’t much mind stoned ones…. Cannabis was the excuse when the first wasn’t working out. My kids are only ever worth some bullshit excuse.

Of course it will be played off as I threw a pot fest and then a fit when no one wanted to be there for that. Of course no one will mention how they poorly address every fucking thing. How they can’t just politely say I am unable to attend but look forward to making time for my grandchild. I mean seriously it’s not that hard. How the fuck you post to the book or your parents post some I miss the kids shit… Some I never see them anymore and then can’t even learn how to respectfully decline when included.

They say how I replaced them… OR how I distance…. shit I say they lie! I say I invited these people more times than I can count and they turned up their noses… They couldn’t make time… They can’t be bothered by us lower class. Too bad why they weren’t watching I made a life for me and mine. It’s us above them now. Looking down and knowing we have no guilt for cutting the toxic out of our lives. We have done our part to be present and no longer must we put ourselves through that. Family is what you make it. Nothing was replaced it was built from the ground up!

I hope those who do show to my home today do it with a open heart. That they truly are here for my kid. For mending broken hearts and healing. For love and for family…. Cause I will accept nothing less. Knowing mine and my kids worth is a power that can’t be taken from me. Cheers to the day and my mental health throughout it.

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