What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I rang in the new year screaming Jumanji. Hoping it would help send the chaos back to the game I no longer want to play. In fact I don’t even remember signing up to play in the first place. It was super quiet and peaceful for new years. Didn’t do much at all.

What will I strive for this year? The only thing I have ever strived for. To be a better mother. Its my only life goal. My purpose is just to be the best me for them. It’s honestly all I ever think about. Every dollar I spend or make it always about how can I best use this for them. Being born to die is tough my time is so limited. Knowing that makes every day count.

This week I will make sure I devote myself to setting goals with the kids and helping them knock them off that list as quickly and efficiently as we can. Every advantage I can give my kids is far less than what they are deserving of. Its hard to be an imperfect parent when you want so badly nothing less than perfect for your kids.

There are no goals for me of a retirement. No dreams of the kids all being gone and a empty house. None of that will ever even cross my mind. Simply put, I just wish to better life for my kids. Feeling as though I gained everything I ever needed in life when they were born leaves me only wanting more for them.

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