What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

It’s been awhile again I know. It’s hard to find the time to sit now and write. I completed my last day of treatment last Monday. I got to ring the bell that I was so excited to ring. It wasn’t the same as I had seen from others. I rang it alone. I hadn’t thought to ask Marc to take off work and be with me. This week has still been hard since all that crap is still in me. I am hoping next week will start my upward spiral!

Marc and I have grew leaps and bounds with communication. I have begun journal to him throughout the day. I realized I would only text him the negatives during the day. Don’t get me wrong I sent him I love you’s and I miss you. How are you, things of that nature. But the topics were mostly me venting. Venting on the kids bad driving. Venting of the kids at home and school grades. I wasn’t really telling him a lot of good shit. Mostly because I was feeling better getting the negative off my chest. However I am hyping Marc full of negative all day at work. Sometimes really small minor laugh at stuff but it was really adding up. He didn’t notice it at all. I did when I seen his relationship with the kids changing a bit. No worries I caught it fast and changed my behavior! Thing is Marc is truly my one and only friend. I trust him more than anyone on this planet and that is extremely sincere. So he is the only one I’ve got to talk to. So I grabbed a journal. I can carry it about and write in the moment things I wish to tell Marc. He can then read them after the stress of work and a good hot shower. He can talk to me and process them for what they are for then. Or maybe sometimes he writes me back suggestions to problems I am facing with the kids or myself.  Genius! Hailey seen what I was doing and asked if she too can write Marc when she needs to get stuff out. Thrilled that she would want to I eagerly urged her to anytime!

We created new colored coated chore charts. Which are also working far better! I’m still seriously considering color matching dishes for each. So they all had their own color and then were in charge of washing their own dishes. It’s a thought.. The house hasn’t had any new issues. In fact we rented a industrial snake for $40 and completely handled all our plumbing issues. I think it took and hour on a Saturday for Marc and a couple kids to fix it all. The girls have really started to make their room something cool. Tapestries hung and cool creative lights hung about. I’ve been extreme couponing some truly cool decor for them.

The younger boys got a new bed. The older boys have spend much time rearranging and decorating as well. Posters are up and bed’s built. Allen bought himself a gaming computer and I hooked him up with a desk. He has these awesome 3-d lights he has accumulated from family for holidays. It’s starting to look far more like our home. I can’t wait till Hailey breaks out some paint and paints on her wall a mural of some sort!

Our family seems to be finally coming together in all ways. Over the rocky patches and I think the kids not taking care of this house was mostly because they didn’t believe in it being their home. It was Marc’s house we were living in. Now it’s starting to be seen as our home and they want to improve and fix it.

The school here… well I pretty much hate it. Malachi the only one actually wanting to be in it and I think he is just enjoying the social life not the school itself. I wouldn’t ever recommend this public school to anyone. I hope to find a better solution for that area by next year for sure.

Life is good and can only get better from here. Our family is full of love and we will piece the rest together eventually.

One thought on “Life These Days

  1. So I woke up this morning still alittle exhausted and thought let me see what my fellow bloggers are up to. Was reading you post and it filled me with warmth & positive strength . I am inspired by you, and really happy for you, that you find ways to be positive and realise the beautiful family you have. I want to add you in my daily prayers,wishing you, even more beautiful moments and beautiful life. X

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