What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

[amazon_link asins=’B000YR7DOK,B06XRQFJR8,B01MR1QU9K,B01N27TCR0,B071LJYQSJ,B001N8FH1A,B009P13RW8,B075R18PHV,1935414291′ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’buchtelassoci-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’408cc3a4-b2e2-11e8-ad9e-7326ee0b8cc6′]Marc had a passing in his family this week. The funeral to be held on a day we thought we had a school activity. Marc had intended to miss the funeral so that he could be the wonderful father he strives to be. Being at the kids back to school night seemed more important. Even if his heart truly wanted to be with his family at the funeral.

Luckily the school function that night wasn’t one we needed to attend. I realized early that morning that it wasn’t for us. Texting Marc immediately so he could go to the funeral instead. Marc working till 5 and the funeral to be held a bit over an hour away. Our home where I would be in the opposite direction. He texted that we would probably need to stay home because we couldn’t get there before it would be over.

That’s when I could see it in the text he was disappointed and sad. I start offering to drive to his work meet with clothing and the boy and drive straight from there. Knowing he wouldn’t be keen on the plan me driving in a busy town like the one he works is anxiety attack waiting to happen. This must have been where Marc’s gears started turning.

He sent a text that his parents could bring me and the boy and him meet us after. They were already stopping at our place to retrieve something and it worked out perfectly. It’s funny Marc was at work but I could see in his text how relieved and happy he was. He managed to have me at his side without me driving or stressing. All of us able to make it on time.

I was eager to be there meeting more of the amazing people in his family. Never have I meet such a loving bunch. So welcoming and considerate that bunch. Marc’ parents and I arrive to the funeral about an hour prior to Marc.

His mother introducing me to everyone as Marc’s fiance. A title, only second to the title of mom. They were all eager for a date which we haven’t given much thought too. House being the first of our priorities.

Before arriving I had been told it would be more of a reunion feel then a funeral. That statement couldn’t have been more spot on. Everyone telling of the wonderful memories of home made ice cream and planes. No tears or sorrow just love and rejoice of the grand life the deceased had.

I haven’t been to many funerals in fact in my own family I avoid them entirely. Of course maybe that isn’t a fair analogy┬áI avoid the family entirely if I am able. But I remember a great grandmothers funeral and I sat alone never feeling my presence was wanted. I was the only grandchild not mentioned in the obituary. Going in to this one I didn’t know what to expect.

Everything about being there felt like a reunion. Everyone catching up and spreading love. I was getting hugs and handshakes and congratulations galore. It felt like my family and I felt at ease entirely. Sitting door next to family. Hearing who was who. Hearing fond memories they shared with each other.

They all spoke of wishing to get together more. That family get together’s were fewer and farther between then they had cared to admit. Secretly I hoped that they would have more in the future. Wanting to be apart of the fond memories they all have of each other.

Marc coming in the boy and I ran to hug him. His embrace soothes my soul! The smile on his face seeing us race to him is one and a million. He got the same date questions I had prior to his arrival. He was smiling ear to ear when he was asked of me and his new family with us.

We stayed another hour and a half after Marc got there. Seeing pictures of family and Marc telling me of his experiences with them. Hearing Marc’s father speak of this family so fondly because he too was me many years ago. Sitting in that chair at the reunion (funeral) feeling blessed and welcomed into this family. He shared how his wives brother’s were his best friends. Of her dad being his dad and always feeling that was his family. Maybe even more than his own at times.

Blessed am I that Marc made it possible for me to be there with him. Grateful am I for the family I have gained this past year. Joyful am I for the memories we will create together. Excited am I for the future nuptials.

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