What defines me?

Phone calls have continued from the kids dads. Did you call friend of court and raise my support? Did child support go up? Apparently they are working two jobs with child support being taken from both.

Did they expect friend of court to need my permission to take money owed? Or that I needed to make contact for them to do so? Maybe they think their child isn’t worth the money?

I have paid little attention throughout the years to the friend of the court and the goings on of child support. Most of my cases came to be by the fathers. The one father who never took me to court is the one without the child support case.
So they take me into this mess then at every turn think I have caused it.

How does this make sense? There is a formula for child support. I didn’t make the friend of the court’s formula. It wasn’t me who enforced that. The amount set forth is a minor fraction in what I have spent for their child.

So explain how on earth is it that call after call to me is in regards to friend of court. I haven’t wasted my time trying to figure out the issues at hand for any of the dad’s. My only response has been call friend of court.

To be honest I am quite proud of myself. I have been known to pay my own child support. To ensure a dad didn’t go to jail. Written letters forgiving money owed. Stressed upcoming court dates. Now my response is simply call friend of court.

It’s taken me some time to decide it was not my worry. See I go without everyday for my kids. Never have I bought for myself before them. I don’t strut my stuff in new shoes and my kids in old. The dad’s I am not sure can say the same after all here they are complaining of the support again.

I can’t remember complaining of going without for mine. Maybe it’s the thought of me having the money that bothers them so. Trust me money in my possession is never mine. It’s supporting the household in which 8 (7 plus my extra who is mine just not by blood) children never go hungry. They never fear homelessness. Disney trips, school supplies, clothing, food, electricity, WiFi ( WHAT KID CAN LIVE WITHOUT!) All those needs are meet by me. Do you think the support you pay covers that.

Is there a limit to what you would give your kids? Isn’t complaining to friend of court of the money they take from you like complaining of supporting your kids? Do you want to limit what opportunities they have and give yourself more?

I just can’t get my mind around it this morning. Can’t come to terms with the phone calls. Complaining of supporting your child seems so selfish to me. Did I only have children with selfish men?

Now my kids see their father to be told he won’t purchase something because that is what the support is for. Child support should buy your birthday presents not me. That is an actual statement made to my child this week. What the heck does that do to their self worth.

My kids looked at the child support numbers and seen it as their worth. Even making I am worth 324$ a month comments. Again my mind is blown away. How do we put a price on our children? How do we then complain of it being to high?

I wish I could show them. The thought process that they have I just can’t understand. Fills me with sorrow.