What defines me?

I have spent so much time looking for my path. Thinking I needed a career to be fulfilled. Cooked in many kitchen’s. I worked in a office typing my life away. I worked at a daycare nursing my love for children. I went back to school thinking there might be where I found my purpose. None of that ever gave me that fulfilled feeling. All that searching yet still I wasn’t on a path.
I quit my job a few month’s back about 3 to be exact. Maybe it was I was fired but the technical term didn’t matter I was no longer at the job because I had no drive to be there. As much as I love cooking and being in the hustle and bustle of the kitchen my heart wasn’t there.
I know what makes me feel fulfilled in life now. It’s my family. It’s being his wife ( I have no pc of paper but I play the role) and the kids mom. It’s the most gratifying for me. It lights me from within making the bed before he comes home from work. Helping the kids with homework. Working with paytyn taking him out to do things.
Time is limited, mine maybe more then others I want mine spent with what is most valuable to me. That is Marc and the kids. I love blogging I am happy that I can use it to contribute financially and take some burden off of Marc. I enjoy him being the provider and I think he enjoys that role as well. He has always wanted to be the one paying for dinner. I use to sneak the check all the time to pay so I could feel like I was doing my part. Now I see that is just his place in our relationship. I do my share and I pitch in. I pay attention to his bills and make sure he puts them instead of me first. Even if that is just by requesting a frugal weekend at home. We work really amazing together honestly.
I want to be a stay at home wife and mom. I want to home school paytyn. I want to make Marc’s lunch every day for work and have his breakfast ready when he wakes. Coffee in my hand as he kisses me and the boys before leaving. I want to be what the kids and Marc come home to every single day. I want to make sure Mack and Boris ( our birds ) have attention and love throughout the day. I want to make all the kids food from scratch and have it all prepared for them. Home made bagel bites in the freezer for the days they don’t like dinner options. I want to craft and hang out with minions. I adore the life of a stay at home mom and wife. It is what gives me the greatest gratification. When Marc and I talked of me staying home and not working anymore I was against it. Now I thrive on being here. I can’t wait to be in one place. I think we could save a lot more financially if we were in one spot and not paying for two. I love for that. One house organized and happy. One household for me to be caring for. I love caring for the 8 of them. I am blessed indeed.
My goals from this day forward is to grow my blog even further so my contribution to the family can do some good. Getting us into one house as a family is a huge goal. Making the 8 of my family as happy and healthy as I can everyday! Letting go of working outside of the home. Truth be told Marc and I have had a few debates over me thinking I needed too. I need to be confident that Marc will come to me if we get to the paint that I need to do that.