What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

The struggle with sadness was powerful this week. I did okay over the weekend but still struggled even being with him. He tried so hard to make me smile and have an enjoyable time. I left this afternoon and just balled my eyes out. I had cried before leaving him too but I didn’t talk when he offered. Just cried and let him hold and love me. By the time I had those tears rolling at home I was feeling just one of those lowest of low moments. Everything felt suffocating. I absolutely felt alone since talking to the only one I have felt difficult. Not that he has done anything to create that feeling inside it’s just life lessons have left me to feel alone. I never had anyone love me the way he loves me. When I left he texted checking on me. He enforced I could talk about anything and he was there for me. His words gave me the courage to say yes I needed to pour my heart out. I needed to do it without feeling like I was saying the wrong words. As Marc is so positive if I talk about negative I feel like I’m bringing him down and that it’s better to keep to myself. So I needed the reassurance he gave to me before I could talk freely. I had cried myself into a headache before arrival and when he laid down in front of me and I rested my head on his chest his hands threw my hair.  Petting my face and head he provided all the comfort needed for me to open up. I just hit the tip the ice berg but I got out some stuff that I needed to. We got the communication that was needed for us to progress forward together through all that life is going to through at us. He had every word I needed to hear while telling me he had no idea what he was doing. He hadn’t done this in a long time been in a relationship as ours. He speaks directly to my heart kisses on the forehead making me feel like his princess. He soothed away some of my blues. I am so madly in love. I can’t imagine going through all that I am without him. I just can’t imagine surviving without him. '



Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.