What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I spent most of the week in a pretty sad state of mind. Just feeling blue and not being able to shake it no matter what I attempted. I needed to just cry. I needed him. I left his house on Sunday after falling into his arms and crying a bit. I didn’t chose to talk I thought well I honestly thought my words weren’t worth hearing. My voice hasn’t been heard ever. It has always fallen on deaf ears so to speak. I went home hurting. I only wanted him. I only wanted him to fade all the negative and fill me with the positive. I feel like I am unfair to him as it’s been his task for so long to take the negative vomit I dish out and spin it into a positive. I wish I was able to bring the positive out myself but I can’t yet. What I am able to do is trust him. So in his arms hearing your NOT alone I’m here will do it together I find my peace. He held and listen. He caressed my face petted my head and kissed my forehead as I cried. I’m so incredibly flawed. He loves me still. I set my fears free confiding them to him. Never has anyone put effort in making me know I am loved. It’s powerful. I have never feared anything like I fear losing him. He is my absolute. My entire heart is his and his alone. He’s my best friend in the entire world.

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