What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I know must of my blogs now tend to end up being apart of my love story. I have tunnel vision and can’t see much outside of us anymore. I always get the most amazing sweet messages from my love today was no different. I stop thinking or stressing the moment and relish in his love for me. My son with autism he has some limits to what he can tolerate. Noises are one of them. So when we visited Marc’s and the birds were loud Paytyn panicked. In midst of his melt down I thought to myself oh no this is it. This will be the thing…. how can we co exist if my son is afraid of the thing he loves most. Marc his mind went to buying two houses side by side and building a bridge. I giggled to think he would do such a thing. I thought it was just fictional until he actually drove me by the houses that were for sale to do it with. I realized then there wasn’t anything that would stop us from being together. By the second visit Paytyn had at Marc’s the fear was gone. He still covers his ears a bit if he walks to the kitchen or if the birds do get loud. He isn’t afraid though. Everything fits. Paytyn just took a shower in Marc’s house because he is so comfortable here. That is a big deal you know. A minor melt down over wearing my shirt but was easily sufficed with Marc’s shirt instead. The other day Marc mentioned he loves I make the bed. I have always made his bed whenever I have came over. I did it because I thought if he came and seen his bed made he would notice it and think of me. I just wanted to be on his mind. So now hearing he loves that I do it means it does just as I wanted it too.  I’ve been at his house most of the day today and it feels like hanging out at home. The kids raid the fridge to find their favorite snacks because he has already thought of them and made them feel important by stocking it for them. I get excited anticipating his arrival from work as he does coming home to us. Both of our lives completely changed upon meeting and yet the worlds just fit together just perfectly. I want to get my divorce finalized and finish tying up the lose ends in my life. I wish I could go back and eliminate what toxic I let in. I wish Marc had been the first man I meet I know he would have been the last. I had such an amazing weekend and now just hanging out with the kids at his house for the day is pretty much the perfect Monday in my books.

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