I am still without a home. No place to lay my head. No place for my kids to feel safe and comfortable. We attempted a night at the shelter and we failed we just couldn’t stay having a child with autism made things 10 times harder. So we left and I took to a hotel except there are restrictions to hotel rooms to the number of people you are allowed to have. So 3 rooms is what it takes for us to all fit. 🙁 I have a few extra kids as well. Pizza by the boatloads of course because kids have to eat. Luckily breakfast this morning was free and we have some snacks I collected from donations. This burden is only going to keep growing. I am trying hard to make sure I don’t start to sink further then I can climb out of. I’m starting to really worry. This is the time I should have been getting ahead and that isn’t the case this year. Birthdays are around the corner and I am worried I’ll fail that again this year. I have had a hard time feeling like anything more than a total failure lately. Every move I made was the worst one possible. It has landed us here back to the bottom once again. I have to work today busiest hardest day of the week and the shift that will be the busiest as well. I have to put myself together enough to rock that out. Bringing your A game well feeling like the game has already defeated you completely is hard. Waking this morning with the kids felt good but I wanted his embrace desperately. There is not really a medium to that.
