What defines me?

Weds morning I woke to a text going off on my phone that my power was out. No big deal as the text also contained the time would be restored it was only a few hours. No big deal right? So I thought. I woke up the minions and decided that breakfast would be a good plan and then I would go run some errands by the time I got home it would be back on. Off I went to run those. I got about a hour and a half from home when I got a message that they were evacuating my home. I had no idea what was going on at the time. The message said less than a hour time was all we had. Being an hour and a half away this meant I wasn’t making it home to get out a thing. I felt the anxiety rise. Phone calls begin to pour in from residents where my home is. Are you out? Did you make it? Everyone concerned I had been inside. I reported I wasn’t home but was trying desperately to get there. I live on the st joe river. In a trailer park along side a bridge and wrapped by the river. The river was flooding into our homes. I get into town I race to drop off the kids I had with me thinking I just have no idea what I’m walking into it was better they didn’t see yet. I took one with me. Hailey jade thinking I needed hands to help me grab whatever we were able. I drive to the bridge my heart just sinks. I see the water and it’s incredibly high. It has the campground completely engulfed with water. I say a prayer because my home is a bit further off the river than some maybe I am fine? We pull into the entrance the cops and fire department presence is grand. I jump from my car pleading to the fire fighter to allow me to drive to my home. The water could stall your car he said leaving you to be towed out a greater expense and burden. I’ll take the risk I have 8 kids I have experienced a fire please I can’t lose it all again please I beg. He lets me go he says HURRY! 10 mins at most. I fly through the water in 4 wheel drive. I had no real idea if that was helpful I just think it made me feel more powerful to jam through the water. I get to my house my back yard is over taken in water now. I cover my mouth looking around and seeing what is coming. The roads throughout were just becoming covered. I grabbed the file cabinet, every picture from he walls those being the most important possessions in my home. After securing that I went for electronics. I was able to get the majority of those too. My truck filled quickly tv’s are not small. I grabbed a handful of clothes from each dresser not knowing really what I was grabbing just frantically. I look at my daughter and say sweep trough the house whatever is important to any of us this could be your one and only chance. She looked like a deer in headlights but she did as told. The truck was filled to brim I was unable to see out of a single window. As I went back the way I came water had completely taken over the road. I stop my truck. When I loaded the drivers door latch broke and I had no way to keep door shut other then to hold it with my arm while driving. I tell jade to buckle and hold on I am going to floor it in hopes to not stall out. 4 wheel drive again….. I gun it water pours in through the crack of the door I am unable to hold sealed shut. WE make it back through and now try to pass cops and fire without them noticing the door I am now holding shut. I get to a dry home to realize I left every cord to the electronics none are any good. My kids have no clothing that makes a outfit as I failed grabbing that too. Being able to see in the dark and pack up while frantic was a total failed mission. We have no blankets we have no home. It’s unsure when we will get back in and begin to access damage and recovery efforts be made. I have the laptops for the kids school but I didn’t grab a charger so they are still unable to attend school. I feel as though I have failed them in every way possible. We are homeless I have 8 kids and I am homeless. How do I swallow that? I have spent my entire life giving back and paying it forward but here I am homeless not a single place I would feel safe and comfortable taking my kids for an undetermined amount of time. I am overwhelmed beyond anything I have ever felt. I don’t know how to recover from this. I don’t know what steps to take? I created a amazon list and add to it as I think of things or see things that we are in desperate need for. Blankets are one. As of today still no idea when or if I can go home. My kids and I are scattered trying to get through a day at a time. If anyone wanted to buy from our wish list we would be forever grateful. This was the worst timing I just worked so hard to get free from the abuse and buy my home and now I feel defeated…. The flood has taken the breath right out of my lungs. How do I recover?

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1WS9BSUXR82A1/ref=cm_wl_huc_view

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