What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Yesterday was the day we had court. There was a review for child support. About 3 years ago Keith lowered the support lying that he was physically unable to work and provide for himself and the kids. I never had taken that back to court to be adjusted. It was a 60 filing fee to do so. I guess I could have asked for a fee waiver but all of that seemed like a lot of nonsense. I wanted to just ask when the kids needed something. Why does a judge need to tell a man to help the women raising their kids. How can it even need to come to that? I mean there was a time the shoe was on the other foot. I didn’t even need to be asked in fact. I was writing and calling all the time what do my kids need. I will get it. Sending packages like crazy. Finding a way to provide whatever that took  because that is your role as a parent. It’s crazy back then when the roles were reversed when he needed laundry done and had cps and a trashed house. It was I who helped his mom with it all. It was I who came washing the dishes and cleaning the house. HE was dating someone else! It’s funny how he can forget all of that and see me as a golddigger out to claim all I can. In reality I have brought him groceries, helped him move, given his wife transportation, provided a roof for his family. I haven’t ever tried to sabotage him. I genuinely needed some extra help and went to him directly first. I knew child support would take an insane increase. The man makes 10 times what I do. He is still hiding how much he is currently making turning in tax papers instead of real time check stubs. I really have no desire to nickel the man to death. It was simple he just needed to communicate peacefully not make empty promises to his kids. In the courtroom he expressed not seeing his kids. Oh the voice in me was just screaming and screaming. Are you kidding they were raped! You did see them you were seeing them at will whenever you wanted too! Until your sister called the cops and I heard from their mouths my kids were raped! Like seriously what the hell. I can’t believe you just told this judge like I had been holding your kids from you. He also said he didn’t know where I lived again another lie. He came to my house in July stealing my mail and creating chaos with the kids while I was at work. He stammered around for excuses to why he should not have to pay support in the amount the friend of court had decided. He didn’t have one. I barely even spoke in the courtroom although I longed to respond to have false statement out of his mouth I wanted to yell liar. I didn’t. I just smiled as I knew the judge didn’t care about any of it. Visitation is a separate case. So I bite my tongue I won everything that the kids deserved. I will be able to afford drivers ed for Allen now no questions asked. I know he will be bitter even more than before but I did have the respect to go to him first. That got me nowhere.

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