What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle


O man do I wish I could get out of my head this morning. My mind is racing full of questions. I want to ask him so many things but fear that my snoopy nature maybe a bit much. I have no judgements or anything I don’t accept. I am madly in love. I just want to know every side of him. Every secret he holds dear I want to hear. I want to hold them with him and him to hold mine. My entire life I have dreamed of having someone that truly loved me and me giving that back and not just a little I mean wholeheartedly making sure he knew that I loved and supported him in ANYTHING! Giving the loyalty that seems dead to everyone these days. The raw real me that I hide so well I just wanted one person I could share that with. I wanted to be free to make mistakes and fuck up and know I am loved beyond measure no matter what! I wanted to give that back too though. I wanted someone to be so secure in my love they never had to fear what they shared or any mistake that they may make. I don’t know how to express to him that that is what he has. I want him to open up and share and feel free to do so. But he shares very little about himself personally. I want to give him security in my love. I just don’t know how. I want what they say doesn’t exist I want a fairy tale ending. I want trust love and loyalty! I want to water this grass until it’s a jungle. This relationship right here is the one. I know it in my fucking bones. I will give it all I have in me. It’s him! He is my soul mate I just know it.

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