What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I get asked all the time why I kept the Bronson last name. Who in their right mind would want to keep their ex husband whom which you share these awful memories with name as their own. Well all I could think is what pride my biological father would take with my kids carrying on his name. I thought what credit he would claim and my anger towards him was far greater then my anger toward my ex husband. In fact my ex didn’t even want his name as he wanted nothing to do with the father that gave him his. So I took the name as my own I created my family giving all my kids my name. I don’t carry the name and think that this is Keith’s name I’m carrying on his legacy I think this is my name and my legacy I’m creating. When I married the second time I made it very clear I would not change my name to his. I would carry the name of my kids till my last breath. Every child created with me the father knew from the very beginning my child would have my name. All my kids were going to share a name my name. We would start our legacy with our name filled with love and support and wonderful memories. Keith has made his comments of hatred that my kids have the name he also has. So have the kids dad’s but they quickly adapted. I love my name and so do the kids I love that we all share it together. I take pride in it being mine and rarely will I even tell someone either my maiden or my husband’s name now. Thinking about my name made me recollect memories of my my dad’s excuses  for why he didn’t move mountains to be my dad. I can’t imagine that. Of course now I watch as my kids dad’s do that very same thing and show them the extra love needed to cope with that. I am very glad I made the decision to change and keep changed my name. I even changed Allen’s as he was born a Raines.


Side note to life my leg pain has been out of control bad. I stay very focused on task and staying moving one foot in front the other trying to keep the pain out of my mind. Right now I sit in tears as I was on my feet all day today and up all night last night I just want to sit and cry to myself. Course I have 9 kids here tonight and that isn’t allowed so writing this blog as they munch on the colorful popcorn I made them and watch the movie and bounce on the beds lol. They have all the mattresses spread across the floor. After I am hopeful for some sleep myself as the busy work weekend begins. Mom life.

One thought on “My name

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.