What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I made a post on face book the other day saying 15 yrs ago I was in the safe shelter now I am 15 months at a house that cost 1000$ a month. I really had spent a moment reflecting that that day. 15 yrs ago I called the safe shelter after a fight between Keith and I they picked up me and infant Allen putting us into a hotel for a week before bringing us to the shelter because there wasn’t room for us at the shelter the day I called. The shelter is not a place I’d ever recommend anyone going at all it’s not anything like you would think it would be. I remember the girls putting shampoo and conditioner in my bed over and over so that I’d be up all night washing blankets and then wake up call was so early after not sleeping. My grandpa had to wait blocks away while my grandma came to get me to take me to the store. Grandma had to sign a statement to not release the location just to pick me up. I realize it was all safety precautions but at 18 it felt much like a jail setting. The resources I thought would be there were few and far between. The environment was extremely hostile with the other girls there. It was a long hard 26 days. From there I began the climb has been many canyon’s I have managed to slip into every single one I believe but now my home is gorgeous.. I am no longer in the hood of benton harbor I am in a great neighborhood of nice homes family homes. I have a play set and a basket ball hoop with our lil half court. I have a bed we all have beds no one is on a mattress on the floor there were many of those days too. I often feel like I am failing but I have made massive strides in improvement and will continue to do so. ┬áMy kids have nice clothes and they aren’t going without. I need to recognize myself more for what I have done and less for what I haven’t. I am my own harshest critic. On a side note I’m hiding the pain much better these days but secretly today I just want to cry my leg is throbbing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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