What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I spend most of my time complaining. He’s too clingy he’s too controlling….he’s not this ….he’s not that. The truth is if I didn’t have Chuck I’d be lost. Completely and totally lost. I could not have came from where I did to where I am without him. When I failed as a parent he was there to be what they and I needed. We both over came more in the last 14 years then anyone will ever know. Secrets between us deeper then I could ever imagine having with another. Has he been perfect oh geez no way there is no perfection to obtain anyway. What he has been is unconditional. He has never put any conditions on loving me and the kids. Never conditions to what he will do for us. No conditions to us being his number one. Never conditions for us to have his time for he has never wanted to give it to anyone else. I have never thought that he would put a condition to his forgiveness cause he hasn’t. He has been there for more memories then anyone else. So many memories. When I pass he will be the one with the most to tell to share to remember. I forget to be grateful for him as he has instilled he will always be there. You forget to be grateful for what always has been. It’s easy to take my stress and anxiety out towards him because I do not ever fear saying something or doing something he won’t forgive. I am not sure anyone else is even capable of giving me that security. I never worry who tells him what I already know he will always be on my side. The loyalty between the two of us is incomparable.. Not another I would stand next to to raise my kids with. We don’t have traditional. We don’t have to explain it to anyone else. But no one can deny the strength we have together. Together us raising our kids there isn’t a better option. I am honored that I had his daughter. That I gave him his first child I’d like to tell u that is what created our bond but it was there far before that. In fact we bonded the most over a birth of a child that wasn’t even his. Yet he was there to cut her cord. HE held her first. He prayed at my side while we watched her fight for her life. HE was there when I lost everything that ever mattered to me. HE has seen me at my very very worst. At a low words can’t describe. He held me as a I poured tears for my son more times then I can count. He was there for 5 ┬álive births and 1 still birth. He was there when I graduated college. Him and the kids there while I walked…. he however didn’t bring a camera and I still resent that ! lol HE bought me the brick my dad failed to do. He showed pride in me when no one else did. He is my ROCK so if you have heard me say a bad thing of the man who raises my children as his own and shows more love then anyone I have ever seen please know those words are not heartfelt for he is the greatest man I’ve ever meet. 14 yrs later………… the story still continues.

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