What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I woke up at 8:17 am rolled out of my memory foam with instant regrets leaving the comfort of that cozy warm bed. Chuck had to open so he would soon be leaving and I had designated the day to deep cleaning once again and getting even more organized. I feel like this is always the never ending task in my life. I can never seem to achieve enough organization. I was hopeful today as to my knowledge I would only have 1-2 kids for the day. Can you imagine if I could complete the laundry and dishes and household chores there was potential with just two kids home that it would stay that way for more then mere moments. I was thrilled driven ready to accomplish the daunting task at hand.Interior Design: A True Beginners Guide to Decorating On a Budget (interior design, decorating your home, home decorating, diy projects, home organization, living room, design) was the book I had just completed not more then a few weeks ago now was my time to see if I had taken any knowledge away from the book. So I head downstairs to get started. I start cleaning the sinks out and stacking the dirty dishes. I have ocd so before I am even able to clean I have to sort. It makes me slightly crazy but hey what can you do right. I get dishes stacked clean towel to dry them on. Start my dish water and while it fills I switch the laundry. I have a friend who recently started couponing. Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey: Learn Coupon Strategies to Save $1000s at the Grocery Store I purchased a couple bottles of gain from her and gosh the laundry was smelling fantastic. Back to the dishes between loads I was cleaning out cabinets filling two boxes to donate. I just got more pans from grams again so time to pass some on. I will not be a hoarder. I have watched the extreme hoarders show and now panic every time I see a little clutter in my house. I have only gotten about half the dishes done since I was stacking them back up as quickly as I was washing them. Cleaning out cabinets found lots of child washed dishes lol. Aj had gone to his dad’s family for Christmas and needed a ride home. I called Chuck’s mom to ask her if she could give him a ride and before I knew it she was in the driveway ready to go. I was not prepared to leave it was only 11 am and I had so much to do still. But into her truck I climbed because my baby had to get home. So to niles grab aj, get gas, run and grab her groceries and back home. It’s already 1 pm I lost two hours of cleaning time now I have to book it. Out of cleaner….. great how do you clean cabinets with no cleaner…. Well it’s not in the budget so plan b I have a lemon tree growing in my living room. Yup when I got my diagnosis I bought this lemon tree. Been babying it since. I love my tree. Lol So I got a fresh lemon from my tree some vinegar and made some cleaner. Got the stove and the cabinets clean all but two pan washed. Started lunch for me and the boys. Loaded bake potatoes…. cleaned the bathroom switch laundry… then get called into work. Chuck’s mom was already on the way by the time I even knew I was needed at work. Quickly I changed my clothes sent the boys on a franic search for a hair tye. I could easily got through Goody – Ouchless No Metal Gentle Elastics, Assorted Colors, 72 pack in a day. They grow legs and walk away I swear too it. I arrived at work at 3 pm. They were getting killed needed tons done with a quickness. I dont know what it was about being busy but something just clicked. The girl who has struggled to make any eye contact or socialize at all was gone. I was running the line busing tables talking to customers. I was in my element. I flowed through the entire night with ease. Until about the last 30 mins of my 5.5 hour shift. Then like a ton of bricks it hit me. I had yet to eat, I had yet to sit the entire day. I had kept moving and now I was ready to collapse. It took 35 mins to close the building the wonderful sweet heart waitress gave me a tip out for helping her which warmed my heart. I had spent my entire shift happy to be there. I miss being in the kitchen that is for sure. Am I capable….. maybe not at the level I was but bills aren’t paying themselves. I’ve only worked a few nights and I can already feel and see the financial burden easing. I need to work…. health has to take a back seat to that. I am finally home and after switching the laundry just one last time I am in bed. In my birthday suit ready to crash out. Even thought chances are the leg pain that is now throbbing will keep me up most of the night 🙁

One thought on “today………….

  1. bear1985 says:

    I am so proud of you My Pretty Lady My Baby…I Love You Soo Much Baby and I miss you baby

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