What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

This week I have been stressing out about needing money for Hailey’s choir trip. Taxes is so close I know I get a tax advance on the 16th already approved to pay off her balance but she needs quite a bit due before that time. In fact needs it before Christmas break. So I’ve been racking my brain trying to pull it off. Today her Dad (not her bio dad but the one that raised her) tried to get this payday loan thing so he could get it to her but it didn’t go through. Hailey Jade has always always been my princess. I remember at 4 yrs old she was with her bio dad at her grandma’s his mothers. It was about 8-9 blocks from my house. Hailey had a dream that I was there with her and then that I had left. She woke up freaking out. She went down the stairs in the living room put a walker up to the door and unlocked the deadbolt. It was raining hard that night. Hailey hide in the ditches afraid the cops would see her. She got to my house she beat on the doors but I was upstairs in bed and unable to hear a thing. She pushed the big green trash can up to the window and beat on it with all her might. I ran down the stairs to find her. No one at her dad’s even knew she had left. She had peed her pants scared and just wanted to come in and snuggle. She stayed that night. I remember many times her dad bringing her to me and Chuck as he often found her hard to handle as she is a spitting image of her mother. He even had talked about sending her to the link at one point with one of his gfs. But to be honest until this year when periods and boys and teenage hormones from hell came I never had any troubles with Hailey. She has always been so helpful and sweet and kind. I can’t count how many times I have watched her go rake for strangers just to help not for any compensation. Or how many times she has came to me mom can we house so and so they have no where to go. Or give away food to someone who needs it. Hailey is a giving soul for sure. To think that my financial situation will hinder her from an opportunity kills me from the inside out. She deserves everything the world has to offer her and more. I am praying I can find a way to make this happen for her. So she can go to disney on spring break and sing her heart out. That she can laugh and make memories. She is my right hand, my princess. <3


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