Bad day

I woke up feeling sick. I can tell the moment I wake if it will be a hard day or not. The cold outside has me hibernating in my warm toasty house. My stomach is hating me for sure today. I have spent much of my time this morning in the bathroom wishing I could just stop being sick. Wishing cancer would just go away. I feel weak today. I feel defeated. I want so badly to bundle up and go build a snow fort with my babies. I want to be me again but me is lost and here today is just this shell of what I once was. I look like a ghost today. The stairs are the enemy and I will be sliding down those all day since I seem to just fall trying to walk down them. I hate being alone I think the days when I am alone are the hardest to get through. I find myself missing my baby daddy and wishing he was here to bring me bottles of water with lemon in them and pilling blankets on top of me. I just wish i could make it all go away and be normal again.

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