What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

I have two of my kids fathers who have/are spending time in prison. Perhaps the hardest thing on my plate is knowing how to have the right words for the boys. Know how to mend their aching heart for father’s just out of grasp. As one just recently had a taste of freedom I find it even harder to find my own understanding. How can you be out and yet take such high risk to once again have your family pulled away from you and be standing in those four walls? How does that become life? Is there something I should have or could have done? I feel so helpless at the pain prison causes. I haven’t written as I should. I am angry and bitter. I wasn’t suppose to do this alone. Nothing is suppose to be worth leaving your kids behind for. This morning Aj asked if he would see his John for Christmas. I don’t even know when Aj will see him again. I have no idea what words to even say to provide comfort or answers for him. 🙁 Tears flowing for my babies

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