Stand up

I am once again struggling to co parent. On weds my kids all go to church and they get on the bus at the trailer park where their father lives. This week Malachi and Hailey both asked to walk to the trailer park with friends after school and go to keith’s until the church bus arrived to pick them up. I thought well that seems harmless after all it’s less then two hours between school and church. How wrong I was. Hailey and Ky both broke their brand news shoes while there. Ky left his back pack didn’t do any of his homework. Then states that his other mom said my rules don’t apply there and they don’t have a homework before u play rule. I wanted to scream already I mean seriously!! I can’t count how many times I sit down with them and everyone pretends that we are on same page and want the kids to get good grades and that it’s important. That there will be consequences. But then they walk out the door as if the convos never happened. So frustrating. So of course I am already upset my son hasn’t had his back pack in days and now more homework assignments are incomplete. No sooner do I get done having the conversation with ky about not doing any homework at keith’s do I get phone call after phone call. Hey, Danielle do you know that Malachi and Tyler were smoking cigarettes while waiting for the church bus. Of course I freak out. I question Malachi who within secs is crying. Although I did simply ask him. He swears to me it wasn’t him smoking just Tyler his 13 yr old brother. He swore him and his friend Sean try to get him to stop. So now I am thinking great I get to worry that your smoking which is awful for your health and I have to worry about when eventually the cops see these kids with cigs. I video tapped the convo with Malachi and I about the smoking and sent to his dad. Also with a message about homework and back packs. Last week I received 8 dollars in child support while he got to brag to his kids how many video games he purchased. Even though for weeks I begged him to help with shoes that continue to keep getting broken, stolen, or lost every single time they go there. HE had every excuse to him not being able to do so. Made plans with kids and didn’t show made promises he didn’t follow thru on. So of course Keith has no response to my message. No I am sorry that homework didn’t get done or ill help with shoes or im sorry my kid is stealing cigs trying to get yours to smoke ill deal with it. NOTHING! Then I get another call. From a mother who has a child at mars. Hey, danielle do you know Penny has head lice incredibly bad and is out of school for it…. WHAT!!!! no i didn’t know in fact keith and AMANDA told me it was gone when I stated i wanted to wait to send mine back there till it was because getting head lice with 7 kids is extremely difficult and a huge financial burden. It is so exhausting being the responsible parent. I am not even sure I can contemplate another solution to it all. I find myself wishing everyday they would move back out of state. Not once have they made parenting easier in fact behavior and attitude in the two kids who visit is 10 times worse. Financially they create a large burden. Between things being stolen and broken and lost and having to go look for the kids when they go missing from there.  I am racking my brain for answers i can’t control them only me so what is it that i can do myself to better the situation….. I keep saying I’m going to the court house I am turning in the medical bills im raising child support im getting what my children deserve….I just never follow thru.  I should be telling the court house he doesn’t have overnights with allen or hailey. He gets a credit for that has for years for taking them all four every other weekend even though that is something that has never happened. I need to stand up and demand better for my kids.

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