What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

Okay so Allen’s toe dangles for what seems like forever finally they come and say we are clear to go home. I take Allen straight home he is starving and hurting and tired. He fell asleep at the doctor a few times. We were there for a long time. At home I argue with Ky the normal daily arguments he has with me where he feels mistreated and that he needs to enforce the rules for everyone else and if he isn’t allowed to do so he needs not follow a single rule himself. Crazy heckness occurs the entire time I am home. I got about 15 mins of time in my room of peace…… Then it was time to get gas and drop off allen’s meds and get to coloma and back to st joe…. At this point my arms are killing me he is rubbing my arms as we are driving down the road. Then I am racing for gas of course im on the red line but my dang town is always at least ten cents more then anywhere around me sometimes even more. In fact today it was 20cents higher then everywhere else. So anyway I get gas drop off the meds. Go to Coloma….. go to st joe soon as I pull in the entire building is packed and it seems to be an every day event….. I walk in and a once dead restaurant is now popping. So I had to wait…… kids all smashed some asian food opps forgot to note that I had taken Clare and Klowey with me when I left the house for st joe. The girls end up getting hired to “help” They love pretend working at their dad’s job they love being helpful there and being important. It’s one of their favorite things. Fortunately chuck and I both have pretty much always worked in family friendly environments where our kids were loved and welcomed. So the girls each are given five dollars and are literally jumping for joy. Now it’s time to head home it’s after 830 already I have no clue how the day has gone by so quickly. I tell chuck we need to stop and grab Allen’s meds at walgreens on the way home….. then I proceed to use his phone to call keith I still have his wives insurance card which I had promised to bring directly back but lets face it the craziness hadn’t settled for me to have time yet. Keith told me to keep it that I needed to have one for myself. I felt myself sigh a sigh of relief I was honestly too tired to even think of stopping there and the two of us tend to get to talking …… He of course then got me talking asking about allen and thanksgiving and yep chuck just kept driving right past walgreens as I am telling keith about insurance paying and how i had hoped they covered the meds i realized we passed walgreens at least 7 miles ago…..I rush off the phone now seriously annoyed because after me already asking if he had thanksgiving plans and him telling me no now he does…. after plans have already been made…. on the same day we have plans….. so im flustered and of course turn to take it out on chuck who just passed the pharmacy and clearly is the reason to everything that has gone wrong the whole day…. …or so i proceeded to make him feel that way….. Get to the pharmacy and guess what this lady wants to tell me i can’t get the prescription because i need allen’s id not mine…. even tho allen is 14 and i am his guardian and he doesn’t have a id…. It’s tylenol three for GOD’s sake…….. finally after getting a manager i get his meds… which cost less then 5 $ whoooo hooooo Now back to this drive home…. finally pulling in the driveway ready to climb into bed…. and im puking…. over and over and over….. crying i finally passed out around 11. A totally draining exhausting day ending in me smelling of vomit and covered in my own salty tears as always. 🙁

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