What defines me?

Cancer , A Dozen Kids , Life, Struggle

It seems my blog is already causing controversy. I expected it before I had even started writing. I have no intentions of having to spend my time clarifying everything I write. My entire life I have felt like I had very little if any voice. I never stood up for what I believed in. Never stood for what was right or the truth. I have held in more secrets then I can bare. I have kept friends in my life who I never even liked as a person. To avoid conflict. Or because how they parented or lived wasn’t my business. Or so that is how I had always felt. Their actions weren’t for me to be accountable for.

My perspective on that is completely different now. I no longer want people in my life whom I don’t feel are striving to be the best person/ parent they can be. Those in my life are also in my kids lives. I want those closest to them to be good examples. My kids are looking up to those in my circle. You yourself are most influenced by those around you. I want my own influences to be positive and uplifting. I am not trying to pass judgement. I am however living my life to the best of my ability. I am raising my kids the best I can and I am not allowing outside influence in anymore. Truth be told I feel like I failed my kids through the years with the ppl I allowed in their lives and mine. I won’t feel that way anymore. I have to live with the choices I make.

With that being said. I do not feel like Keith or his wife are bad parents in any way. They learned to parent together in the way that best fit their family. There is a huge difference in 2 kids and 7. There is major differences in even the environments we both lived while raising our kids. I am not ever intending to bad mouth them or any other parent. I am simply voicing my feelings opinions and struggles. This is just my voice. Nothing more. I have no reason to filter anything because I have nothing to hide. I am the best mom I can be and this is simply the ramblings from my head.

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